Now Playing Tracks

CODY SIMPSON TAKES THE STUPID INTERVIEW: 'I'D TELL PEOPLE THAT MY HAIR IS A WIG'

  • Interviewer:

    So to start off with, give us your best insult..

  • Cody:

    Oh, erm, I'm not sure. I don’t think I can do that!

  • Interviewer:

    You're not up for insulting us? We've got terrible hair and our nails are atrocious today if that helps..

  • Cody:

    Ha, no! I don't like to be mean.

  • Interviewer:

    Ok, second question - if you had to eat another celeb in order to survive, who would it be?

  • Cody:

    Oh wow, you want me to eat another celebrity? I really don’t know... does it have to be someone I like?

  • Interviewer:

    We're not actually going to make you eat them you know. It could be someone you like, or maybe someone you want to get rid of..

  • Cody:

    I don’t think I’d want to eat someone I like...well I don’t think I’d like to eat anyone to be honest. Jeez, I’m not sure. These questions are crazy. What answers have you had in the past?

  • Interviewer:

    People that they fancy, people that would feed them for weeks until a search and rescue party arrived. Maybe a hot girl who just looks like she'd taste nice?

  • Cody:

    Gosh...erm....let's come back to that one.

  • Interviewer:

    Ok, if you could spread any rumour about yourself what would it be?

  • Cody:

    Hmmm...[makes hot thinking noise]... Rumour I’d like to spread about myself...[Time passes. Flowers sprout from the ground]...Ok, that my hair was a wig.

  • Interviewer:

    You'd tell people your hair is a WIG? Is it a wig?

  • Cody:

    No! I dunno, I just feel like it’d be a good one.

  • Interviewer:

    Fair play. So if it came to it, would you rather lick a tramp on the arm pit or the nostril?

  • Cody:

    A WHAT?

  • Interviewer:

    A tramp, like a homeless person?

  • Cody:

    Oh, The nostril, definitely. It would be slightly more bearable than the arm pit, which is just gross.

  • Interviewer:

    You are not wrong. So you’re walking down the road just minding your own business and you see a woman about to step straight into the path of lorry..

  • Cody:

    What’s a lorry?

  • Interviewer:

    ...You know, like a big truck. So there's this woman in the road, but right at the same moment, you see a baby sitting at the side of the road clutching a HUGE knife. You can only save one of them - who do you pick?

  • Cody:

    Why does the baby have a knife and why are they both on the road?!

  • Interviewer:

    Who knows? It's just one of those questions to which we may never know the answer...

  • Cody:

    Well in that case I’d probably save the baby - just because the baby has an entire life to live.

  • Interviewer:

    You’d sacrifice the old lady then?

  • Cody:

    Kind of, I mean the baby hasn’t even experienced anything yet so he’s got so much to live for...

To Tumblr, Love Pixel Union